How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie

Two years ago I read a book two improve my social skills, which got recommended to me by Joey Schweitzer of the channel Better ideas. This book is a classic, when it comes to social interaction and I think everybody should give it a read. In this article I want to share a few key insights that stuck with me and want to share a few thoughts in general how this book changed the way I interact with other people.

The key concept, which the author focuses on is build arround how you should approach conversations expecially with new people. He gives the advice that you should become genuinely intersted in other people." You make more friends by being interested in other people not by making them be intersted in you." This concept was especially meaningful to me, because I always tried to make people be intersted in me by telling stories about my own life. People are actually far more interested in themselves than in you. This sounds harsh, but you can use this fact to make people like you. Whenever you are in a conversation with someone, let them do the talking, ask them questions about things they are really passionate about, but dont listen to them because you have to, be an attentive listener because you are genuinly interested. Ask them questions they will actually enjoy answering. With this approach you will not only make your conversation partner feel more comfortable, but you will also get the most out of the conversation, because you learn new meaningful stuff about topics you may never have heard about. Try this at your next networking event or party and I will guarantee you will make new friends.

"Remember a persons name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language". You often hear people say they are bad at names and that is often the reason they dont make an effort to try to remember a persons name. This is an advice that I immediatly implemented into my life. Whenever I hear a new name I take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat the name in my mind to actually remember it the next time we meet. Of course there are situations where I forget the name, but than I just ask the other person for their name. Just make the effort to remember a persons name and the other person will feel more important and will see it as a compliment.

"To get the best out of an argument is to avoid it. You cant win an argument, because if you lose it, you lose it and if you win it you lose it too." This is probably an advice where many people strongly disagree. I am not telling you to never disagree with someone, I am telling you that you should avoid letting this disagreement turn into an argument, because even if you win this argument, you will lose the good will of the person you are having the argument with. Dale Carnegie gives some good advice how to keep an disagreement from becoming an argument. You should always listen first and let the other person talk out his thoughts, because only by doing this you get the full insight into your conversation partners opinion. Often people are far to fixed on their own opinion and dont even recognize the areas of agreement they are both having, because they are simply not listening. This involves admitting when you are wrong, because any fool can try to defend their own mistakes. In addition you should always show respect for the other persons opinion. Don't tell them they are wrong, try to think the whole thing through their perspective. If you follow this advice you can even try to convince someone of your own opinion, but always keep in mind that you have to begin in a friendly and respectful way. "A drop of honey catches more flies that a gallon of gall."

Those where only 3 aspects of a book that is truly live changing and to get the full out of it I strongly encourage you to give it a read. It is only 200 hundred pages long and I will guarantee you, you will not regret it.